astrobleme | i doubt; i fear; i think strange things which i dare not confess to my own soul.

i doubt; i fear; i think strange things which i dare not confess to my own soul.

[Shinji sets down the cup for one second--one freaking second--and that's long enough for the gelatin-looking starfish to start climbing inside.] Hey, [he says, frowning, pulling the cup away from it.] This isn't for you. This isn't what babies are supposed to drink. [He feels silly trying to reason with a squishy, translucent creature, the equivalent of an infant, but he doesn't know what else he's supposed to do. He also feels a bit guilty, but, well...

Inside the cup, gleaming like liquid ruby, there's about an inch of juice left over.

He exhales hard, settles the cup between his thighs, and looks out towards the lagoon. The water is a shockingly clear blue in the early morning; and beyond it, beyond the coral reef, there's the unmistakable apocalypse of an ocean. The month he has spent on this mostly uninhabited island can't be summarized in words. It's been difficult, to put it lightly, being confronted with a brand-new reality.

The starfish, not to be discouraged, sneaks up to his legs and tries to climb over them. Shinji gently scoops it up and sets it back down a fair distance away, mildly amused, relatively disturbed. The island and its environs are literally crawling with all sorts of Angelic offspring. None of them look remotely human, too. And that's to say nothing of the vast cave farther inland, where the proud parents have stowed away so many eggs. The parents...

He rubs his bare, tanned stomach uneasily. Asuka and Nagisa-kun seem absorbed with parenthood, which has Shinji feeling estranged, like a third wheel on a date. Too much has changed, so it's just...

And the mother is staring at him for some reason. Right now, he can feel Asuka's eyes on him, wherever she is. Unsure of himself and everything else, he digs his toes into the sand, waiting for the sun to come up the rest of the way.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's okay. [Soft as she can't remember her own mother being. Asuka was never soft in front of Shinji when they were young, except for that one night at Misato's. It might be bewildering, thinking about the changes she's gone through, if it weren't so wonderful. The three of them are going to fix everything, one birth at a time.]

You've had it this whole time. We've been giving it to you. The blood, and... [She's so enthralled she doesn't even stop to wonder what he'll think about that revelation, doesn't consider if he'll be afraid or horrified or betrayed. Watching the Lilin drain away from him sip after sip is nothing compared to his alterations now. Losing pigmentation, clothes tearing away like tissue paper. Kaworu will be so happy, too. She wishes she could urge it along, deathly curious as to the extent of his mutations. If this is all, though, she's satisfied. Shinji's already beautiful.]

[Her eyes close for just a second before springing open again, mesmerized by the sight of him feeding from her, taking in her nutrients, her essence. She might orgasm right here as his plush lips cover her nipple, seem to swell around it, and she grunts, clasping onto him, hips wriggling impatiently for a release that hasn't happened yet.] We wanted you to be a part of this. Right from the start. That's what we wanted.

[In all honesty, Asuka is revealing things that Shinji should have known all along. His first dubious sip of fruit juice turned into an inescapable addiction almost overnight. That's why he should have known there was something... something wrong with it, and... his indignation drifts away in the first of many waves of contentment. It doesn't matter that the Angels essentially poisoned him, sabotaging his humanity. It doesn't matter that no one asked for his permission. As long as there's more for him to drink, he won't have many things to complain about...

He trades one delectable nipple for the other, more out of curiosity than anything else. The milk is no less perfect--warm, silky-smooth, coating his throat like cooking oil. Meanwhile, his uncomfortable fullness come and goes and comes again as he changes in various ways, propelled by an ancient alien design. His fingernails sharpen and lengthen like claws, giving him a better grip on her. Opalescent scales streak down his arms, his torso, across the backs of his legs, before disappearing under additional flesh. He only stops drinking when his breasts--really, his own breasts!--are large enough to rub up against her and steal away his attention.]

Hey...

[He lifts a hand and experimentally cups one of his breasts. It's real. It's unbelievable--but it's really here, quivering, overflowing his hand. He gives it a good shake, mesmerized by what he's seeing. Not disgusted. Not appalled.]

This is what you wanted...?

[It seems so absurd, but he's too drugged to react to the absurdity. He's more interested in squeezing his breast and shivering from how good it feels.]

Yeah. We weren't sure what was going to happen, but... we thought...

[Thought is too strong a term. The reality of it is that it simply seemed to make sense. Her babies were getting all the nutrients they needed from her milk, and before that, from her blood. What it had done for them, it would have to do for him. Their scientific considerations were nonexistent.]

[She's soaked through. She wonders if this is how Kaworu felt when she'd broken through and become herself. If this is how excited he was. The scrape of his nails makes her exhale softly-- oh, oh, fuck-- the streaks of scales, like a brief flash of light. His breasts are far bigger than she'd expected them to get. No stretch marks, nothing. Perfect. Maybe they'll both feed their children. Maybe he'll have some, too. Asuka's so overcome that she can't help herself, reaching over and squeezing his other breast, tracing a pale finger around one nipple.] We thought you'd be like us. We didn't want it to hurt. It doesn't hurt, right?

[Shinji closes his eyes tightly, whimpering quietly, trying and failing to think for himself. Everything about this insanity feels inevitable. Like it was written in stone somewhere a long time ago. Asuka and Kaworu-kun--they've been so worried about how frail and fragile he could be, a human stranded out in the wilderness. Like that one time he tripped and sprained his ankle, they cared for him day and night until he healed back up. Another time, he ate some undercooked meat from a dead animal and came down with a debilitating bout of food poisoning. That was a complete disaster. The Angels freaked the hell out, debating the merits of going back to the mainland to search for medicine, for a doctor, for anything to help Shinji. Thankfully, with a bit of luck, he recovered on his own.

His moaning is vibrant, almost melodic, reminiscent of a siren's song, when he brings up a hand to cup the back of Asuka's. He had no idea how sensitive his skin could be until just now. It feels so good that he can't remember what it was like to not feel this good all the time.] P-Please... [No pain. None whatsoever. His body is reaching equilibrium with every part of him exaggerated to some degree.] It doesn't hurt, so please don't stop... touching... please... [Even his hair is spreading over his eyes and around his shoulders like a prayer shawl. It's so thick and luxurious, sparkling in the sunlight. He could be confused for a fairy tale princess, if not for his hot and heavy dick.]

Okay.

[It's delicious. Seeing him moan and whimper, overcome in himself. He isn't in pain. He isn't afraid. She's reminded of how it felt with Kaworu that first time, in the changing room at NERV. Every touch had changed her, but she'd begged for them all. She doesn't regret it. She'll make sure Shinji doesn't regret it, either. This mutation is necessary. For Kaworu's happiness, for hers, for their world.]

Hey, Shinji, you're beautiful. [She's humming softly as her hand courses around his breast again. Then she turns her hand out of his grasp, cupping it herself, guiding it over his heavy breasts, urging him to admire his new state of being. Revel in it. Enjoy his soft, smooth skin, forever free now from the ravages of age and disease, his new, overwhelming sensitivity. The way his dark hair spills down-down-down like an inevitable waterfall finishes off the scene, a pretty contrast to his pallid skin.] Hey... hey... [He's ready. He's ready and she's sopping. His whole life has just been a prelude to this moment. Propelled by instinct, she crawls on top of him, mounting his dick, swollen, engorged, fulfilling everything. Fulfilling everything. She giggles as she sinks, pressing against his shoulders to urge his back against the sand.]

You're... so... we've been waiting so long, oh...

[The first time Shinji came across Asuka and Kaworu having sex with each other, he couldn't believe what he was seeing. It was off in the forest, up against one of the trees, with Asuka leaning on the trunk and Kaworu taking her from behind. They were laughing about it, mindlessly happy. In between giggles, even, Kaworu teased her for being impossible to satisfy... Shinji ran away from that spectacle as fast as his legs could carry him. He was shocked. Embarrassed. Confused. Concerned. And, most vexing of all, he was jealous. They were a nearly inseparable couple, even though they didn't use terms like "boyfriend" and "girlfriend." They were made for each other. Mating with each other. A level of committed to each other that Shinji could only fantasize about with one hand guiltily shoved down the front of his shorts. He never thought he'd find out what it was like to be a part of that.

He's finding out right now.

Mechanically, this is no different than any instance of fucking. His stiff cock slides into her vagina; she's on top of him, bearing down hard; he's lying back in the hot sand and groaning loudly. But there's more to it, there's something spiritual about it, this crackle of energy between their souls. They recognize and accept each other on some deep, private, all but forgotten level. It's a sudden sunburst of feeling that spreads light throughout every last one of his cells. He's glowing. It's difficult to see by the light of day, but he's glowing at the edges and especially from his eyes.]

Asuka... Asukaaa...

[It's just overwhelming. His eyes are filling up with tears, sparkling brighter than the fresh water lagoon close by. They're mystifying to him, but they must be happy tears--he's never felt as good as he does right now. His chest heaves up and down, breasts bouncing heavily, as he writhes and pleads for more and more (and please more) from her.]

[She's beside herself in ecstasy. She's been waiting for this for so long. Years, now. Her dreams of Shinji had mutated along with her body, transformed from simple, stupid desires like handholding and covert makeout sessions and maybe even a grope, if he'd been lucky and there instead of gone-- to procreation. To rebirth. And it had to be him. She and Kaworu both agreed on that, though she'd protested at first, still angry that he'd left her so long ago. That anger had dissolved like salt in water.]

Mmm... ohh...

[She rides out her own orgasm, bouncing up and down on his cock relentlessly. The gleam of him is unmistakable. Miraculous. Verifying that this is meant to be. Sanctified.]

[She can't wait until Kaworu sees. She can't wait until Kaworu gets his hands on him, gets to touch what was always his.]

[Her clit's swollen and throbbing and she's leaking her juices all over him, the clear liquid dripping with every movement, some finding its way to his stomach as if it were semen. She comes before he does and takes his orgasm as an opportunity to go for another of her own. Selfishly, she hopes he might have put a baby in her already.]

I'm here. I'm here.

[Shinji's flesh has been utterly transformed, but the great shift hasn't yet reached Shinji's brain--his mind--and it's running up against mortal limitations. There's a point where this feels so good is too much for him, where an orgasm is like a sledgehammer, smashing straight through him. He cries out, he struggles, he's consumed in heat, and then--

He passes out. His entire body goes loose and still, except for his engorged cock, which is still as straight as a metal rod and ten times as hard. No matter his state of mind, his body understands its biological imperative to make the most of Asuka's fertility. There's nothing to stop Asuka from riding him to another orgasm, and another one after that.]

... Asuka.

[But Kaworu has been watching them from ten paces away, unnoticed before now. They couldn't have noticed him when they were so committed to enjoying each other. He's naked as well, just as pale, but of the three he's easily identified as male to Asuka's female and Shinji's gorgeous, eye-catching blend of both sexes. The Angels have helped to create something that neither of them could have imagined.]

He should be allowed to rest after the morning's excitement, don't you think?

[He isn't concerned with Shinji's lack of consciousness. Even if it takes Shinji a while to recover, to wake back up, the Angels can assured that he'll be fine. He has to be fine. He's already an integral part of their family; this is just the beginning of a new chapter for them.]

Kaworu.

[Asuka's still riding his cock. It doesn't matter that Shinji's passed out. It doesn't matter. The rest of him can adjust when and as needed, but his body has already been remade for her. Her and Kaworu.]

[Nothing yet. No pinpricks of light and life. Asuka's face creases a bit in disappointment as she slowly, slowly climbs off him. Shinji's dick is still erect, of course, like the most obscene flag. Wobbling slightly (poor little legs, dripping with fluid and come), Asuka stumbles over to Kaworu, grabbing his arm like a small child.]

Did you see? Look at him-- look-- isn't he pretty? Isn't he perfect? [She's tugging him towards Shinji's comatose body.] Touch him. I know how much you've wanted to.

[Her other hand is sliding between her thighs, fingers intruding into her pussy. A rock of her hips and she admits a few words she can't put into sound.]

(i want to see, too)

Edited 2017-01-05 02:48 (UTC)

[Today feels like it should be declared a holiday. Like they should go back to the research station and throw themselves a celebration--maybe they could even have the leftover ice cream they've been saving for months now. Asuka's excitement is only matched by Kaworu's, as he laughs out loud and follows her over to Shinji's prone form. Shinji looks so peaceful lying in the sand and sunlight like that, even with a throbbing cock on display. He looks like the impossible made possible. A miracle realized in the flesh. Their very own miracle.]

He's beautiful, [Kaworu says in agreement.] I knew he was destined to blossom, but I didn't know it would be to this extent... [Shinji's breasts fill out a little more, pale and enticing, a magnet for attention. Kaworu licks his lips and wonders if Shinji will produce milk like Asuka does. He wonders how good it would taste...

Back to reality:] But I don't know that he would want me to touch him. He never told me that. [Kaworu's smile is no less heartfelt, no less pleased, but there's something uncertain in his eyes.] It's good enough to watch you enjoy him, and for him to enjoy you, too.

He never told you?

[She's surprised enough to stop touching herself, fingers curling over the inside of one soaked thigh. No way. Shinji had always been part of this, at least, from Kaworu's perspective, and she'd gone along with it happily, any bubbled-over resentment fading fast. Without Shinji, none of this would have been possible at all. She wouldn't have changed, wouldn't have mated with Kaworu... the Angels would have been just another extinct species on a dying Earth.]

But... he wants you. I know he does. [She's seen those longing looks, heard the way Shinji says Kaworu's name, like he's trying to breathe a wish into the air. She's not so overcome with breeding instinct that she doesn't notice the attraction. Kaworu clothed might be a bigger distraction for Shinji than Asuka with her bare breasts out in the open, letting her babies suckle.] He's for you, too. [Treacherously, her hand starts to edge back towards her pussy. God, why does Kaworu have to be so shy about this? Why isn't he jumping at the chance, the way he did with her years ago?]

We're all for each other. [More determined, now. Asuka's voice is a combination of wheedling and sweet and a little impatient as she crouches beside Shinji, stroking his long, dark hair. Maybe Kaworu can give him lots of babies of his own. He'd like that. Shinji would be a really good mother.] Come on. Kiss him. Just once.

[Kaworu's self-control has been next to nonexistent for a while now, but he's done his best to not upset Shinji by getting too close. The last thing he wants to do is to make Shinji any unhappier than he already is... (was?) (has the transformation cured him of sadness?) (could it be that miraculous?) Shinji stayed at the periphery of their lives, only engaging with them some of the time, behaving more like a trapped animal. The fruit juice changed that for the better. He became a little more trusting, a little less despondent. But still...

Shinji looked like he was enjoying himself with Asuka, at least. That has to count for something. With a slow exhale, Kaworu steps closer to Shinji, really studying what's happened to him. Shinji's skin looks so soft and slightly moist, like a newborn starfish. It's sensitive, too, because he moans faintly at the fingers sweeping near his scalp. That sound sends a mote of heat into Kaworu's groin, the precursor to arousal.]

What if Shinji-kun doesn't want me to kiss him? [asks Kaworu, uncharacteristically uncertain.] I don't know that I could forgive myself if he didn't approve of it... [Regardless, he's kneeling down beside Asuka, beside Shinji, leaning his weight on one hand. His other hand lifts up, then pauses, just as uncertain, and finally comes down on the nearest unbelievable curve of Shinji's breast. So soft, as expected. So warm. Almost hot. Kaworu suddenly can't stop himself from leaning in and all the way down, so he can kiss Shinji on the mouth. He resembles the perennial prince in one of those fairy tales from centuries ago.]

Mm, he tastes like you...

[The stimulation somehow adds to the volume of Shinji's lips. Incredible.]

Edited 2017-01-28 20:57 (UTC)

[Oh, oh. Yes. So much of Asuka has changed over the years. Maybe she's not cured of her own sadness, but she has a purpose beyond her wildest dreams, beyond what Lilin could have offered her. That's enough to put all but her most dismal miseries far behind her, past the red horizon. In time, it'll be the same for Shinji. In time, he'll recognize that they'll make the world over, the three of them, make it something whole and beautiful once more.]

[She can't slake her desire just with masturbation, but she tries as she watches Kaworu kiss him. Already, she's imagining Kaworu fucking him, right here. Just lifting up his legs and going for it. Poor Kaworu. He's had her so long, but he's wanted Shinji, too. That doesn't make her jealous the way it would have years ago. It's okay. More than okay, it's necessary. It's good. As natural and praiseworthy as feeding her babies. Sensual, too. They've birthed him and they'll breed with him. Asuka grunts as she moves her hand against her pussy, hips rocking, eyes wholly intent on the scene. Prince Charming couldn't have done better.]

He should taste like you, too. He... he couldn't get enough of the juice. I said you'd added something special. [She smiles, running a finger against Shinji's swollen lips once Kaworu's withdrawn, murmuring softly.] Give him another taste once he wakes up.

[The subtle and slippery sounds of Asuka's fingers meeting with her pussy is, in a word, galvanizing. Kaworu feels his resolve weakening, crumbling away, and he leans in as soon as he can for a much deeper kiss. Still unconscious, Shinji is responsive in his own way: the shift of his long, shapely legs; a moan that's more like a sigh; his fingers curling into the sand. Kaworu pulls back with a heartfelt laugh, almost drunk with joy.]

It wasn't my intention to deceive him with that... [He runs one hand down Shinji's chest, over his stomach, all the way to the base of his newly prominent cock.] As long as he's safe, as long as he's happy, that is the only thing that matters to me. I thought the juice would be the most effective panacea. [He didn't expect Shinji's swift addiction, but he's glad for it all the same. Now that Shinji is more or less immortal, they can stay with one another forever--forever and ever.

Shinji's eyelashes flutter when Kaworu gives his dick a welcoming squeeze. Not enough for him to awaken, but he'll get there soon enough, it seems. Even though Kaworu wants to wait for him to wake up, it's just...

Kaworu inhales deeply. Yeah. That's all the confirmation he needs.]

I want to put my cock inside him, [is Kaworu's murmur of a confession.] I can smell him. I can smell how he's changed... He's become so fertile, Asuka. If I put my cock inside him right now, he would come to bear my children. I'm certain of that much. [His eyes--crimson, illuminated from within--flicker up to her for validation or permission or something like it.]

[Poor Kaworu, always so concerned. She hadn't been worried about any moral implications of deceiving Shinji, withholding the ingredients of the passion fruit juice. Asuka hasn't worried about any moral implications since NERV first put her in the tank years ago. It's just like when Kaworu had to convince Dr. Lorenz. A necessary step. A needful thing. Besides, Shinji's conversion as it is has been so much more peaceful than her own was. They've done well by him.]

Mmm... [So fertile, Kaworu says. So far, that's the only thing that's made Asuka jealous. She knows she isn't pregnant with Shinji's babies, and yet Kaworu's sure he can impregnate him. She doesn't doubt him, either, and doesn't concern herself with the mechanisms behind it. But they've got time. Shinji's got time to fill her up. It's going to be amazing, helping Shinji through, watching his belly round out, rubbing his feet, pampering him, fucking him. Asuka could probably still calculate how much adding him has improved the speed of their repopulation, but numbers lost interest with the span of eternity.]

Then do it. [Her voice is warm. She won't deprive him. She never could deprive Kaworu of anything.] He's always been yours. [But she's not so magnanimous she'll content herself with masturbating to the scene, appealing as it is. She shifts, reaching for one of Shinji's arms, murmuring as she strokes a finger down the small streaks of scales there, touching then his longer, sharper fingernails, like the claws of a predator. She turns his hand over to his palm, holding it by her pussy as she rubs herself against it, getting herself off with his hand. It's a generous move on her part, letting Kaworu have the rest of him. It's also calculated, of course-- all and all, as her breaths get heavier, this spot is providing the best view possible.]

I can't wait. I want to see it all.

[Asuka's encouragement is its own species of seduction, melting away concerns and what-ifs and maybes. Ever since her skin peeled away, ever since her glorious rebirth, she has been unapologetic about what she wants and won't stop fighting until she has it. So, she wants to see Kaworu put his cock inside Shinji, and Kaworu knows there's no point to further resistance. This is pretty much what they were working towards all along, after all...

Shinji has gotten so wide in the hips that it's actually kind of difficult to grasp him by one. Plenty of room, Kaworu thinks, spreading apart Shinji's legs and repositioning them higher. The little ones should appreciate that. Aside from a faint tremor in his thighs, Shinji is malleable, pliable, like a living and life-sized doll. He's very warm, too. Filled with heat from his newly forged core, imbued with infinity. Kaworu nudges closer, making sure they're aligned, and then he casts one more look at Asuka--

Oh, the way she's using Shinji's hand to stimulate herself is so ingenious.]

I'm doing it. You don't have to wait because I'm doing it right now.

[Shinji awakens--if it can even be called that--it's more like sliding out of a deep, dense fog--to a sensation he can only describe as amazing. He feels full, weirdly full, stretched from the inside out, but it's electrifying for his nerves. Given his muddled mind, it's pure instinct that drives him to roll his hips and push back against whatever-it-is that's filling him up, bringing him closer to completion.

He blearily opens his eyes and watches as Kaworu leans into view somewhere above him. He doesn't get a chance to ask what's going on before his entire body goes taut, a seizure brought on by pleasure, too much too soon. His fingers flail against--something different--it's soft, and it's wet. Then his fingers curl inward against Asuka's--oh god, Asuka--her pussy--it's really wet--but within seconds his bewildered thoughts recede into contentment.]

I think he likes it, [Kaworu says, smiling brazenly.]

You think? [In front of him, Asuka's pushing herself towards a heated orgasm. Shinji's curling fingers against her pussy are just the surprise she needs to come with a low groan. He's soaked up to his forearm with her slick, clear juices.]

[It's all even better than she'd imagined it. Kaworu looks so perfect fucking Shinji. It's like watching a sacred, ancient ritual, a priest to a goddess. No jealousy, no greed, and every reflexive push of Shinji's hips is like a parishioner's needy refrain. The whole scene is hypnotizing enough she thinks she could watch for days without demanding too much more participation than his hand stroking her cunt.]

I told you. [She laughs softly, high and girlish. How many babies will Kaworu give him? How many, for his first litter? Asuka moves Shinji's fingers gracelessly, pushing his index finger right inside her, the elongated nail no trouble at all.] You like it, Shinji?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

i doubt; i fear; i think strange things which i dare not confess to my own soul.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject